were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
