I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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