A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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