Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
