i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
