Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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