he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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