u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
