i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
