she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
This house was built for laser tag.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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