You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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