Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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