Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
