so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
