Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
