So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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