I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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