New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
