She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
