apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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