i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
