ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
