we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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