What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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