If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
