fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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