I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
