what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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