i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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