just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
