Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
