It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
