1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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