Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize