And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
