Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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