Don't you send me to vm
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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