I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I love having hate sex.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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