carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
