i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
