why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
