At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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