I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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