Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
