just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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