Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
