Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
she smelled like a LAN party
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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