You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
