I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
