doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
