If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
