He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
