His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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