Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
