shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize