I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
