Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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