after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
