I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
