Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
