I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize