My hand turned me down
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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