were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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