You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
