So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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