Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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