ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think your dad took our porno
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
